Phony Stuff in Butler Cabin

The Masters is all about tradition. However, not all traditions are good. One of these traditions that I can do without is the made-for-TV green jacket ceremony in Butler Cabin. After sitting through a couple of these shams, I have concluded that it's one of the most ridiculous ceremonies in sports.

It was bad enough seeing Phil Mickelson purposely flaunt that carefully manufactured wholesome family image in front of the cameras on the walk to Butler Cabin. GQ nailed it on the head when they named Mickelson to the Ten Most Hated Atheletes List and wrote, "Mickelson has aggressively pursued a family-man image that is crucial to his success as an endorser." I, for one, have not nor ever will, be fooled by the Joker of Golf.

Unfortunately, the phoniness only worsened as the festivities rolled into Butler Cabin. As we all know, Hootie and the Men of the Masters are wacko control freaks. When they try to deceive the viewers into thinking that the tightly-controlled green jacket ceremony in Butler Cabin is a casual and spontaneous affair, the result is just laughable. This year, the ceremony started the same way as it always does. Hootie introduces Jim Nantz and then reads off the teleprompter:

In a few minutes we'll be joined by our 2006 champion, Phil Mickelson. And with him will be last year's champion Tiger Woods who will present him with his green jacket. And Jim, I believe that they're coming in now.

Right on cue, Phil and Tiger stroll into the picture. Can you say "contrived"?

The rest of the ceremony was as artificial as Splenda. Even Tiger feigns joy as he slips the XXXL green jacket onto Phil's naturally padded shoulders. The only thing missing was a live performance by Milli Vanilli. As JD Salinger wrote in The Catcher in the Rye, "People always think something's all true." As Holden Caulfield would have done, I turned off my TV in disgust.

P.S. My buddy Tony K. of Hooked On Golf has started golf's version of MySpace. Called The Golf Space, it's a networking site only for golfers. Users have their own profiles, pics, blogs, connections, business associates etc. Be sure to check it out.