Top 10 Things I Love about Japan

I promise this will be my last post about Japan. I just can't help my enthusiasm after such a great trip there last year. My next two posts will be Congressional and Cypress Point!

The top ten things I love about Japan:

1. The taxi drivers wear a coat and tie and white gloves.

2. Japanese people are genuinely service oriented. Upon arrival at your hotel, the staff comes out and bows to you. If a staff member is nearby as you are getting into or out of an elevator, they will bow to you. Even employees and security agents at Narita airport, one of the busiest in the world, manage to more things along quickly an with respect and a service orientation.

3. The toilets have a button to push which creates a simulated 'courtesy flush' without wasting any water. Not only is it a 'green' thing to do, it's also brilliant. The Japanese fascination with technology and gadgets and something that distinguishes them in the world and only here could you have musical toilet seats.

4. There is no tipping anywhere in the country. Not in taxis, hotels or restaurants. The baristas at your local Starbucks don't have a tip cup out asking for money. It makes life much simpler.

5. The picture of the 1,000 yen note (roughly a $10 bill) features Noguchi Hideyo, was a prominent Japanese bacteriologist who discovered the agent of syphilis disease in 1911.

6. People don't abuse cellphones, assuming that the person on the other end of the phone is deaf. In the week I spent in Japan, I only overheard one person speaking in a loud voice on a cell phone.

7. The average Japanese has 70 cents in credit card debt. The average American has $2,607. We can learn a lot from the Japanese about living within your means.

8. The Imperial Palace sits in the middle of Tokyo and is surrounded by high stone walls and a moat.

9. Narita Airport. Although one of the busiest airports in the world, they treat you like a human being instead of a cow. Going through security is ten minutes, max. Four levels of shops and entertainment including good food, an observation deck on top of the terminal building so you can watch takeoffs and landings. You can get a haircut at Narita 365 days a year. You can rent a baby carriage. It has a medical clinic, pet hotel, playrooms, showers, a post office and a location where you can get a massage.

10. Geisha Girls

The Punjab and the Geisha

Phil Mickelson Man Boobs Authority?

I've read that search engines account for more than half of all internet traffic. It's not surprising to me since that's where most of the traffic to this site originates.

What is surprising are some of the search terms that return this site. One of the most popular terms is "Phil Mickelson Man Boobs." I kid you not. I don't know what is stranger - that so many people are searching for information on this topic or that search engines have deemed this site as one of its best sources of information.

Out of curiosity, I Googled "Phil Mickelson Man Boobs" to check out where this site would turn up. Lo and behold, Grouchy Golf was at the top of the search results!

Phil's dopey plastered-on smirk has been fodder for several posts on this site, but there's been nothing that addressed his growing chest problem. There has got to be better information on the internet for people researching Phil's busty assets. Unfortunately, after clicking on some of the other search results, I realized that there was simply a dearth of material on this titillating topic.

Sensing an unsatisfied need by the general public, I was determined to fill that need. After some in-depth research, I found the answers straight from the horse's mouth:

I will always have fat on me. There's nothing I can do about it, just genetics. As I said earlier, I've got subcutaneous fat. And most people who are ripped have visceral. There's nothing I can do it. It just lies underneath the skin as opposed to underneath the muscle. And as long as I feel better and get stronger, then I can't really worry about, you know, body fat.

- Phil Mickelson

There you have it folks. The reason for Phil's full figure is subcutaneous fat. But blaming genetics? Mr. FIGJAM must have been adopted because his immediate family — mom, dad, brother and sister — are all thin. Regardless, this site is proud to provide the best information on the topic of "Phil Mickelson Man Boobs". We will be sure to keep you abreast of any future developments!

2008 The Year in Review

We begin with the greatest golf picture of 2008, which is Monty's wedding picture from his second marriage in April. This is such a strong picture that no other pictures were entered for consideration of best picture of 2008. The fan favorite will always hold a special place in my heart.

It has become a tradition of mine to review interesting comments I received throughout the year in my year-end post. One of the most interesting comments I received in 2008 was about my previous write of Medinah. One of my adoring fans wrote, "You, my friend, are nuts". I had criticized the condition of the course in my post, particularly the abundance of poop on the course, to which my gifted visitor wrote: "As for the geese, millions migrate through the area every spring and every fall and have always been a problem for all Chicago area courses. Too bad one didn't drop a turd on your head."

Voila! Although, you spelled 'spectacular' wrong in your comment. Might want to run the spell checker next time.

Another anonymous comment on my Medinah write-up: "You sound like a real tool from NY. Funny as I read your comment about your playing partner. Sounds like he might have been your long lost brother from Queens. Pound sand and stay in NYC."

Thank you for your thoughtful comments, please keep them coming. Alas, you got the wrong borough, I'm afraid. It's Brooklyn.

The biting comments were not limited to domestic readers. Regarding my Muirfield post, one enamoured fan from across the pond asked, I assume rhetorically, "Are you visually impaired, or perhaps lacking knowledge of what constitutes a great golf hole?" Very cheeky.

Touche!

The following anonymous comment is crisp and succinct, "you're a pompous ass......let me guess you are a Scientologist as-well......", although we don't discuss religion or politics on our site.

Another reader had the quintessential visitor experience to The Links Club when he wrote:

"When I entered the bar, instead of being asked what I would like to drink, I was accosted by a waitperson who admonished me that "business papers aren’t allowed here”. Thinking fast, I said, “what, this plain envelope…these aren’t business papers – it is a gift.” I received no drink, but slunk into the library, which was exactly as you described it. I picked up a magazine and hid the offending envelope in its folds and tried to look like I belonged." We feel your pain.

Cabo del Sol's 17th hole

My super 2008 golfing season started south of the border in Mexico. Cabo del Sol was an ideal starting location to kick off 2008, the Corona factory visible as the plane was landing set the tone for a great year. Spyglass was also a great treat and has the best five starting holes in the game. As a public course, I encourage you to play it if you can.

Things really began to fall into place in April. My visit to the Masters started off a six week stretch where I got to play Pine Valley again, followed in rapid succession by Seminole and my favorite The National Golf Links. I was able to play Oakland Hills prior to the PGA Championship and I enjoyed my visit to The Honors Course in Tennessee.



The highlight of the year was my golfing adventure to Japan. Readers of recent posts will understand the uniqueness of playing in this part of the world. I have spoken to several others who have completed playing the top 100 in the world and several of them said that aside form Augusta, getting on the private courses of Japan are the next most difficult feat in the quest. Kawana, Naruo and Hirono are all worthy courses in the top 100.

Hirono's 14th hole

All-in-all, I once again had a great year in 2008 with nine new top 100 courses played and a cumulative total of eighty courses completed.

I'm also glad that I have completed eighty courses prior to the market crash. I'm a lot poorer now that when I began the quest. Hopefully my money will hold out long enough for me the play the last twenty courses. I've had to adjust my habits to my sudden lifestyle reversal. I'm clipping those coupons, comparing the unit prices of everything in the supermarket and loading up on the free tees many clubs offer. The Age of Leverage was a lot more fun than the Age of Deprivation.

I'm looking forward to a productive 2009. Happy New Year to all!

P.S. Loch Lomond is one of the courses I had hoped to play in 2009. Hopefully, its being in receivership and pending sale won't impact my ability to get on the course.

Golf In Japan

After doing so many posts about my golfing experience in Japan, I thought I would do one entry that links back to all the relevant posts so that anyone wanting to do an in-depth review of Japanese golf could look in one place for all the write-ups.

A golf trip to Japan is a once-in-a-lifetime experience that is highly recommended. For the aficionado, golf in Japan is synonymous with Charles Alison, an English designer who did a lot of work in the country in the 1930s. His work is spectacular and is characterized by elevated, generally round shaped small greens, strategic bunkering, particularly around the greens, forced carries over ravines and routings that create a lot of shot variety. Alison is clearly one of the most talented golf architects that ever lived.

I was very lucky to be able to play at three private courses in Japan and also the public course Kawana, all worked on by Alison. The uniqueness of golf in Japan is also characterized by their highly ritualized protocol about play and the middle-aged female caddies in their distinctive uniforms.

Japanese Golf Etiquette

Hirono Golf Club
Naruo Golf Club
Kawana Golf
Toyko Golf Club

Japanese Caddies
Japanese Driving Ranges
The Bullet Train

Having a guide that speaks English is critical if you are to play in Japan. I highly recommend using Japan Golf Tours for their knowledge and professionalism and because they can help you gain access to private courses.

Naruo Golf Club - Japan's Hidden Gem

Naruo Golf Club (ranked #75 in the world) is located in the hills between Kobe and Osaka. Naruo is a private golf course and you must play with a member. The course was designed by Scottish professionals Joe Crane and H.C. Crane in 1904 with revisions made by C.H. Alison in 1930. The course was founded by British expatriates and is Japan's hidden gem. Naruo is a narrow, quirky and very difficult golf course. The greens at Naruo are 'korai' grass, which is like a thicker version of Bermuda and is quite slow, running about an eight on the stimp meter.

If you haven't read the post on how structured golf is in Japan, click here to learn the proper protocol.

If you ever have the opportunity to play Naruo Golf Club I suggest you do some training beforehand. Perhaps run a marathon, enter an Ironman competition or train for the Olympics. You need to be fit to play Naruo. The course is built on terrain that is quite hilly and is one of the most difficult courses I have ever walked. As with all private courses in Japan, there are caddies and you walk the course. How difficult is Naruo to walk? So difficult that they have built in a traction system around all eighteen holes so that the caddies don't have to push the carts up and down the hilly terrain. The mechanized system works with some sort of magnets under the ground and the caddie controls it by remote control. The property at Naruo reminded me of Bel-Air Country Club in Los Angeles because it is a relatively small piece of landlocked hilly property.

The cart tram at Naruo

The course is not only narrow, but also has a lot of uneven lies. I personally rank it as one of the hardest courses in the world along with Bethpage, Oakmont and Carnoustie. Playing Naruo requires you to embrace the Japanese phrase nanakorobi yaoki which translates to 'perseverance is better than defeat'. The Japanese occasionally adapt a close variation of an English word to describe something. I wouldn't at all be surprised if Naruo were a bastardization of the English word 'narrow'.

Almost every hole at Naruo has an out of bounds. The first hole is a good example of what you find a Naruo. Notice the narrowness of the fairway, sloping fairways and an elevated, small green in the distance on the right.

The narrow 1st hole at Naruo, par four 383 yards

The course has tiny greens, most are elevated and as is typical on an Alison designed course, well bunkered. Below are two good examples of the well bunkered greens on the 2nd and 4th holes, both par threes.

Elevated 2nd green - par three 182 yards

Elevated 4th green - par three 207 yards

Naruo has an interesting and varied routing that offers no respite. The 8th hole is a remarkable par four that doglegs more than ninety degrees. It is a 437 yard par four that is in the shape of a semi-circle.

It is a double-dogleg that sweeps around to the left with O.B. on both sides of the hole the entire way. You have to hit your drive both long and to the right if you want any hope of seeing the flag.

The flag is set around a dramatic dog leg to the left and has a very narrow opening, is elevated and well protected with bunkers.

8th from the fairway looking at the green

The hole plays in spectacular isolation and is as beautiful as any inland hole you will ever play. The round green, seen below looking backward, is typical of many Alison greens.

The tilted 8th green looking back at fairway

View from the 9th tee

After you finish the front nine there is a little mechanized golf cart that brings you up a steep incline back to the clubhouse to have lunch. The cart seats four and is so absurdly slow that you could clearly walk up a lot faster, but at this point, most people are hurting, so it is a nice transition to lunch.

The 10th hole is the hardest par four I have ever played. It makes the Road Hole at St. Andrews look like a birdie opportunity. It plays 470 yards and it is best to hit a very long drive here since you want your second shot to be as short as possible. The forced carry is over 'death valley', a 170 to 200 yard carry over a chasm that has a thirty foot drop. If you are unlucky enough to have your ball go down into the valley of death, you can't even remotely see where the flag or hole is located.

10th hole looking back from green across ravine

We played the 10th into a wind and I was so far back that I played my second shot to a nearby fairway on another hole so that I could avoid the chasm. I made a double bogey but at least I came back alive and didn't get lost down in that un-godly thing.

The 15th, a par three, reminded me of the par three 4th hole at Royal County Down with its forced carry over heather. Here, the carry is over Japanese pines and is 175 yards, uphill.

15th, a tough par three

The 15th hole also has a typically Japanese experience. At all Japanese courses there is a structured protocol that must be followed. At Naruo we had the archetypal Japanese golf experience. The arrival and check-in, the pre-round cup of coffee, the lunch with beer and coffee. At Naruo, in addition to the usual routine, the tradition also includes a quick cup of small tea. At the 15th hole, there is a little house where you have a cup of tea before playing the hole.

tea house by the 15th hole

The sixteenth is a 378 yard par four with a blind tee shot. You can see from the picture below the steepness of the terrain at Naruo and the unusual outfits the female caddies wear.

16th approach to the green

After the round we had a shower, communal bath and another round of beers. As we were sitting in the clubhouse butchering the Japanese language the server brought out a bowl of nuts and some other munchies that looked like pretzels. Turns out they are some sort of fish cracker wrapped in seaweed. I popped one into my mouth and wish I could have spit it out, but sucked it up and told our host how delicious it was!

Naruo is a 6,565 yard course but plays longer because of the elevation. On the negative side Naruo has too much O.B. for my game and the greens are arguably too small. The sand was like hard pan and in poor condition when I played. The traction system moving the bags around is amusing and unique but ultimately annoying since your clubs can often be far away from where you are hitting your shot. You can run the poor caddie ragged getting clubs and running back and forth in her head-to-toe polyester suit.

If you are a near scratch or better play, you will play Naruo well. If not, you will still enjoy one of the best golf courses in the world, but be prepared to be beat up both physically and mentally. Naruo is clearly worthy of its place in the world rankings.

Finishing the round at Naruo was a sad experience for me. It was the last course I played on my grand tour of Japan's top courses. I very much enjoyed playing these top shelf courses and enjoyed the politeness and hospitality of our hosts immensely. I don't know that my budget or my wife will ever permit me to return, which is too bad. I will always treasure my golfing memories here.

Check out the club's website, although it is in Japanese, they have nice video images of each hole: Naruo Golf Club's Website