VideoCaddy: The Worst Golf Gadget Ever?

I love to play golf. I love to ride motorized golf carts. I love to record video with my video camera. Now there's a device called the VideoCaddy that let's me combine my 3 loves together. But why on Earth would I want to do that?

Well, someone thought that it would be a great idea. Unfortunately, it appears that the entrepreneurs behind the VideoCaddy didn't quite understand the concept of addressable market (the total potential market for a product). Did these guys do any market research whatsoever? Do they even know what that means?

Think for a moment about who would need such a device. Anyone who wants to videotape their swing would want to do it in a controlled environment such as the driving range. In that case, you'd want a dedicated tripod to ensure stability and flexibility. At a cost of $70 vs. a decent $10 tripod, the VideoCaddy is clearly a poor solution. But the makers of the VideoCaddy tout it's ability to record your swing on the course. But I ask, "Why?!" The pace of play is slow enough on the average golf course. Can you imagine playing behind some clown who's trying to record their swing? It takes extra time to position the cart, aim the camera, and work the camera. These kinds of ridiculous delays is a capital offense at my home course.

The only thing I see the VideoCaddy being useful is to tee up my video camera for all the golfers behind me that want to tee off on it for holding up play! If someone sent this to me for free, I'd toss it right into the garbage in knee-jerk reaction. However, the VideoCaddy might be interesting for collectors of rarities because I doubt they'll ever sell more than a handful.

A Dozen Ways to Play Augusta National Golf Club

My first reader poll on this site was "What is the hardest course in the United States to gain access to?" The overwhelming majority felt it was Augusta, with 63% agreeing it was the hardest. I find it instructive to see how people who have played the course got on it, as there may be clues in there for the rest of us mortals. Here is a sampling of answers from those the lucky few who managed to get on and some other less obvious ways to potentially play the course.

Mindful of the old adage about a management consultant being a man who knows 101 ways to make love but doesn’t know any women, I'm still waiting for "the call", but for what it's worth, the best ways to get on.

1. Begging and Hounding

Tom Clasby, who has played EVERY course that has ever been ranked in the top 100 courses in the world stated, "The hardest is Augusta National by far! I got on because I was lucky enough to work the Masters as a fore caddie, which is almost equally impossible to playing the course itself. Some of the nicest, most understanding people helped, but it too five long years of begging and hounding everyone I ever met to get to these people".

Odds of getting on this way: 5,000-1
2. "I played with the dishwasher"

Bernie Hiller of New York, who has also played the world's top 100, found his most difficult conquest was Augusta National as well, "I'd finally almost finished the U.S. list, getting up to No. 99, but I could never get into Augusta," Hiller recalled. "I calculated that I talked to at least 5,000 people trying to get onto Augusta. "Finally," Hiller went on, "I got to play Augusta. I played with the dishwasher. It took me 20 years, seven months and 27 days from the time I first started trying to get on it."

Unfortunately, this technique can't be copied anymore as Augusta National doesn't permit employees to substitute another person for their once-a-year round.

Odds of getting on this way: 1,000,000-1.

3. "Augusta was the first course I ever played"

One of the guys in my regular foursome invited a guest to play and we started talking about all the courses we had played in different parts of the world and I asked him if he ever played Augusta. "Augusta was the first course I ever played," was his nonchalant answer. His wife works for USA Network, which at the time covered the Masters on Thursday and Friday. The course lets the broadcasters play the Monday after the Masters. He was at a dinner on the Sunday night after the Masters had concluded and one of the golfers scheduled to play had to cancel. Although he had never swung a club before, the group convinced him it was the opportunity of a lifetime and he played. He laid some serious turf and shot over 150 but had an encouraging caddie and will forever be hated by every serious golfer who lusts to play Augusta and can't. The lesson in this is either marry well or aspire to become a senior executive of CBS and you're in good shape.

Odds of getting on this way: 2,000,000-1.

4. Win the Bobby Jones Scholarship

This gem was submitted by one of my faithful blog readers, "I have played Augusta National. My secret? Attend St. Andrews University and win the Bobby Jones Scholarship to Emory University which involves going to the Masters as a gallery guard in April, and then going back to play the course in June, with full open clubhouse and unlimited use of the Par 3 course." Oh, to be young again and an athlete!

Odds of getting on this way: 10,000-1.
5. Coincidence

Marc Brown completed playing the top 100 in the world for the first time in 1997. He has subsequently played all the courses on the bi-annually updated list between 1999 and 2009. His story, "Regarding Augusta, I got on the same way many average people do: purely by coincidence. About fifteen years ago, a 70-year-old acquaintance told me that one of his friends was going to spend several days at Augusta, and he asked me if I would be available if a spot opened up. Several days later, an Augusta member called me and said that one of his guests had to leave town a day early and offered to let me take his spot. I scrambled to use Delta frequent flyer miles since the round trip on three days' notice would have been over $2,000. I stayed overnight in a room above the golf shop, had dinner at Augusta, played one round and the par three course the next day, had lunch, and then left the premises, never to return except to watch a Masters practice round."

Except for that one chance encounter with a 75-year-old Augusta member (now deceased), I have not before or since had even the most remote opportunity to play Augusta National although I did play the Augusta CC once (it is very good). My impression is that Augusta members are gun shy about being asked to take guests that they do not know, and that they are more willing to take one stranger to fill a foursome than to take three strangers."

Odds of getting on this way: 5,000-1.
6. Volunteer at The Masters

Those who volunteer to work at the Masters get to play the course before it closes each May. Alas, I tried this route to no avail. To quote directly from my letter from Augusta National, "...we cannot offer you any encouragement because the same volunteers return year after year - most serving for many years. Therefore, we maintain no waiting list." Period, end of sentence.

Odds of getting on this way: 2,500-1.
7. Play in the US or British Amateur

Finish first or second in either the US Amateur or British Amateur and you not only get to play Augusta, you get to play in The Masters and its practice rounds and stay in the Crow's Nest. D.J. Trahan described his 2001 stay at the Crow's Nest as "indescribable." I'm sure it is.

Odds of getting on this way: 3,000,000-1.

The Crow's Nest at Augusta National

8. A Little Luck

Selwyn Herson completed the top 100 in 2004. Herson's tour of the track Bobby Jones made famous fell from the sky. While doing some advisory work for a large communications company in New York, Herson was summoned to the office of one of the top executives. He thought he was in trouble, but the guy asked Herson to do him a favor—take his place in a group that was scheduled to play Augusta. Actually, it's more than a little luck, sounds like a lot of luck.

Odds of getting on this way: 2,500-1.
9. Join Augusta Country Club

Augusta Country Club is the Donald Ross-designed course adjacent to Augusta National that is visible above the twelfth hole and thirteenth tee on Amen Corner. Since Augusta permits only foursomes to play, if for some ghastly reason there aren't four golfers, Augusta National has been known to call over to Augusta Country Club and see if there's somebody hanging around that might want to drive over and join in at the Mother Ship. Standing by.

Odds of getting on this way: 1,000-1.
10. Be Invited By A Member

Being invited by a member is tough to do since its 300 members are a who's who of America's current and former CEOs. In 2004 USA Today published a list of Augusta members. More than 80% were current or retired CEOs of Fortune 500 companies. The average age of a member was 72, more than a few are in their 80s.

Odds of getting on this way: 5,000-1.
11. Cover the Masters for the media

There are 28 members of the media allowed to play Augusta after the Masters concludes. Leonard Shapiro who writes about golf for the Washington Post wrote the following about playing Augusta, "There is a media lottery every year, and it took me eight years to win a round the Monday after the Masters. By the way, for the ethicists out there, I paid the caddie $125 and spent another $200 in the pro shop, so there really is no such thing as a free round of golf for the sportswriters at Augusta National. By the way, had three pars on the card, four Xs, and had to walk off after 14 holes to make a deadline, and then a plane."

What kind of deadline could have been more important than finishing Augusta? Difficult to take in. So you miss the deadline, get fired and go to work for another paper. What did I miss?

Also, in the not fair category, Damon Hack from Golf.com won the lottery twice, in 2002 and 2009. Let's feel sorry for him since he's not eligible to win the lottery again until 2016. NOT!

Odds of getting on this way: 1,000-1.
12. Caddy

Like at almost every course in the world, caddies at Augusta National are permitted to play the course (once a year).

Odds of getting on this way: 5,000-1.
13. (okay, it's a baker's dozen) Play with a past champion
Even winning the Masters doesn't grant you automatic or regular access. Past champions are allowed one guest a year on the Sunday before the Masters begins. I told you it was hard.

Odds of getting on this way: very long

More?If you have a story about how you got on Augusta please share it with us.

Golf Bag Eating Squirrels!

Today is Squirrel Appreciation Day. In dishonor of this ridiculous day, I have a story to tell:

Imagine, for a moment, that you are a sweet, innocent, harmless, bushy-tailed little squirrel. You're prancing along, you get hungry, you spot some food. You put your little squirrel lips around a big, juicy chestnut...and BAM! A frickin' 460cc Titanium driver head cold clocks you silly.

Well that's almost exactly what I witnessed by the tee box of the 2nd hole at my home track, Rancho Park Golf Course, several years ago. As usual, there was a two group backup at the 2nd hole. A squirrel came begging for food to a guy in my foursome who I had met for the 1st time a hole earlier. Without hesitation, he swung his driver at the squirrel like it was a teed up Titleist Pro V1x. The driver hit the squirrel squarely on it's side and it went down like a sack of potatoes. It was convulsing uncontrollably and I was certain that it was a goner. I glanced at the assailant in shocked disbelief. He just smiled and exclaimed, "Ha, gotcha ya stupid squirrel!" After about a minute the squirrel miraculously got back on it's feet and limped away.

What kind of person would commit such a callous and senseless act on one of nature's cutest creatures? I say a smart and rational person! This wasn't my opinion at the time, but over the years I've come to understand why such violence is perfectly acceptable. You see, the squirrels at this particular course are not the typical and harmless variety. They have devolved into ravenous golf bag destroying monsters! They have learned that golf bags often contain tasty snacks and it's now coded into their DNA. Any golf bag left unattended will attract a squirrel looking for food. If it sniffs something yummy, it will do whatever it takes to get to it. These squirrels are adept at opening velcro and unzipping zippers. If it still can't get to the food, it will chew it's way through. Over the several years that I've played on this course, squirrels have destroyed two of my golf bags. Here's a picture of the latest victim:

So if you ever see someone play whack a mole with the squirrels at a golf course, understand that he's just saving your golf bag from destruction!

A 6-Iron Giveaway!

Alert!: Taylor Made is giving away 20,000 new Burner 2.0 6-irons. Sign-up at their website for a chance to win! I couldn't determine an expiration date for this offer so it's best to enter early. Good luck!

2010 Year in Review

This year's golf photo of the year is the night picture of Dodgy leaving Winged Foot. It sums up in one picture the amazing feat of 2010. I was very pleased to be part of the "Kikimania" that swept the world in 2010. It felt a bit like meeting a young McCartney and Lennon when I first met Michael and Jamie at Kingston Heath in Australia. Their characterization of me and my traveling partners as high-flyers took me by surprise: "No grimaces; no swear words - just smiles." Is our reputation as Americans that bad? I know Tiger creates a bad image for us, but come on guys, we're not all foul-mouthed club throwers over here.

Amazingly, Michael and Jamie did it: played golf every day for a year on the world's best courses. How can you manage to play Royal Melbourne, Kingsbarns, Cypress Point, Pine Valley, Winged Foot, Riviera, Merion, Garden City and amazingly both National and Shinnecock on the same day with the lobster lunch? This is in addition to hundreds of other golf courses, while on a low budget, paying for only a handful of greens fees. Like Robert McCoy's unreal feat of playing the top 100 courses in 100 consecutive days, this one is unlikely to ever be repeated. Congratulations guys, I look forward to seeing you in Wellington soon. As the pro at a leading course told me after hosting them, "These two will be successful at whatever they decide to do in life." I couldn't agree more.

I am a died-in-the-wool American and have long believed we live in the greatest country in the world. After visting Australia, I'm having second thoughts. Wow, do these Aussies have a great lifestyle, a beautiful country and a great attitude. Aside from playing breathtaking and world-class golf courses, I made several new friends Down Under.

My Road-to-Damascus conversion occured in Tasmania when it struck me that this journey is not about golf, but about the experience, the people I have met, spending time with my mates and visting new and unique places.

The second best walk in golf, from the fourth green to the fifth tee at Barnbougle

The lineup of Kingston Heath, Royal Melbourne, Royal Adelaide, New South Wales and Barnbougle was made even more special with the tour I got of Lost Farm by the affable owner Richard Sattler. The trip to Australia was worth the long journey.

I use my year-in-review post to highlight reader comments from the past year, and it is always a popular feature. I received a disputatious comment on my Winged Foot post: "You suck at describing golf courses. Joe public like all of us reading, don't give a flock about the grandeur of the experience, we want the nitty gritty of the golf course." But I didn't take the bait. The truth is nothing would bore my readers more. I will stick to my current winning formula.

Like gum stuck to the bottom of my shoe, these Fishers Island comments won't go away. "It is good that your picture is not posted on your blog. The Trooper would turn you right around at the ferryboat. Better stay on the mainland." Another, was more polite, calling me sir and stating, "you must be out of your mind." I'm used to being treated like a pinata, so all the beating doesn't phase me anymore.

A Fishers Island resident tells me I'm "UNQUALIFIED" to give an opinion on the course because I didn't grow up there like he did! Typical. He did not agree with my assessment: "WOW! There it is again, WOW! Speechless to say the least." I won't repeat the rest of what he said, but please, no profanities in the future, this is a clean blog, suitable for families.

I would point out that those attackers fail to recognize that my description of Fishers Island is like the coverage provided by Fox News: fair and balanced. I state both good and bad, which apparently you shouldn't do. I never got the memo that said everything about Fishers Island was great. Like the curate said of his bad egg: parts of it are excellent. I also hadn't realized, as one knowledgable resident commented, that the CIA was indeed watching when I played (its head at the time was a member) and that the course isn't the best maintained: "I think that if Michelangelo had only completed half the Sistine Chapel and it was ill-maintained, it would still be considered a masterpiece."

Wade Hampton's finishing hole

There's a reason why Long Island finished first in my poll of the world's greatest golfing regions. There is just so much to choose from. A big Coore/Crenshaw fan left this comment: "Friars is better than Maidstone. Mickelson was quoted as saying, "Friar's Head is my favorite course in America behind Augusta." But I am a NGLA fan, Friars is 3rd best on Long Island."

And this from an adoring Maidstone fan: "I'm quite sure that GOD lives and plays at Maidstone, and he can go anywhere! I LOVE that place."

Jim said of Friar's Head, "If Cypress and Pine Valley had a baby, they’d name it Friars Head."

Monty finished last in my poll of historical golf figures most people would like to have a drink with. Only 12 other people voted with me by picking Monty. No surprise that Bobby Jones finished first.

Monty at this year's Open at St. Andrews,
a picture that is truly worth a thousand words.

I was sorry to learn from one of my readers that Tom Simonson, the iconic gentleman at Sand Hills, who grilled burgers and dogs at Ben's Porch, has passed away.

This anonymous commenter is clearly not impressed with my journey: "You are the worst kind of golfer. I despise people who "network" in order to get themselves invited to play an exclusive club so they can notch their bedposts. You're an idiot." The commenter proves the point that jealousy and anger clearly make a bad combination. Plus, the notch in the bedpost reference refers to seducing women. I'm clearly not doing that; a better metaphor would have been notching my belt.

Thank you "GRCR" for your eloquent and poetic comment on Myopia Hunt Club: "It is a gorgeous course; a design of tempest and calm, Jekyll and Hyde, without remorse for the golfers that play it." Amen.

The comment of the year is from Judge Schmales on my Bel-Air post, responding to another comment from a caddy, "Toews-I think this is the best blog I've seen and appreciate the author's view. He's not trying to be a neutral voice that won't offend anyone. I like the style of writing and find his "character" similar to Tom Wolfe. Clearly, anyone who has the time, money, game and connections to play all these courses is not your average hacker. One other point- as someone who caddied for 11 years, most caddies suck. Just find the ball, give me the yardage and get out of the way. Listening to former caddies complain is like bartenders who feel they have to tip every bartender 50%. I would love to see a poll of best/worst caddies by club". I owe you a drink!

Additional new notches this year included Colonial, Wade Hampton and Shoreacres, all worthy entries in the top 100. Here is a frightening fact: I only have one more private course left to play. Of my five remaining courses, four are public. You can guess the one remaining private course.

I did several fabulous repeats this year, playing once again at Bethpage Black, Merion, Sunningdale, Carnoustie, Prestwick and Morfontaine (YES!). In each instance I have updated my write-ups and included more pictures. Capping off a brilliant year, I also played Plainfield Country Club, St. Louis Country Club and in the Barclay's pro-am at Ridgewood Country Club.

Jockie's Burn, the 3rd at Carnoustie

Prestwick's tantalizing 17th hole "Alps"

I'm now at 95 courses complete and I can start to hear the sound of the fat lady singing in the distance. It's not a pleasant sound. I thought I would be excited as I got nearer to completing my goal, but I'm more melancholic than anything. I want to slow it all down and draw it out. I'm going to miss the sense of discovery and anticipation and journey that has been so much a part of this quest.

In addition to traveling to New Zealand and Canada for golf I have several wishes for the new year including the hope that CNN Airport will be permanently disabled so that we weary travelers can wait at the gate in peace. And, that just one time, one of those menacing people with wheeled luggage who runs over my feet as they hurry to get into Chili's apologizes for doing so.

Have a happy and healthy New Year!

Best wishes for 2011 from an Irish Blessing from St. Patrick:

May the road rise to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back,
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
May the rains fall soft upon your fields.